I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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