Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Green mimosas i think yes
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
