I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
