I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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