And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
