Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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