well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
