we made out on top of his cat.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
