idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just googled if crying burns calories
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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