She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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