A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize