Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize