I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
