what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
