My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
