If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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