This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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