porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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