so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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