I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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