been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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