Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize