okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
