Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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