Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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