WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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