Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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