hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
