Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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