I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
