i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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