I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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