What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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