Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
