we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
