My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
