mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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