he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
