"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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