weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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