Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
