I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
