I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
