You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
MIDGETS
????
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
