We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
