return my video game
I need to stop coming to work sober
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
