People with herpes should wear stickers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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