No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
