You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
