My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
