4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
