Ambien. No doubt about it.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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