glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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