how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
