Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
