you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
