Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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