I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
