Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
