It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
