dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
