She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
