things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
