So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
